R — Rapport
The counselor begins calmly.
Counselor: “Marcus, I appreciate you taking the time to talk. How has your day been going?”
Marcus: “Same as usual. Just another day.”
Counselor: “A lot of men say that, but I want to know what ‘usual’ looks like for you.”
This is not a lecture. It is a conversation. The counselor is trying to build trust.
E — Evaluate
The counselor gathers information.
Counselor: “What has been the hardest part of being here?”
Marcus: “Thinking about my kids. Thinking about what I did. Thinking about whether I can even do different.”
Counselor: “What usually gets you in trouble?”
Marcus: “Anger. Feeling disrespected. Thinking I have to react.”
Now the counselor can see that anger, pride, and identity are major issues.
A — Ask
The counselor goes deeper.
Counselor: “What did the gang give you that you felt you needed?”
Marcus: “Somebody had my back. I felt like I mattered.”
Counselor: “What did it cost you?”
Marcus: “Peace. Family. Time. My freedom.”
Now the root is exposed: Marcus was chasing belonging and protection.
C — Confirm
The counselor reflects it back.
Counselor: “So what I’m hearing is that the gang gave you a sense of family and protection, but it also took your peace, your freedom, and parts of your family life. Is that right?”
Marcus: “Yeah. That’s right.”
This helps Marcus feel understood instead of judged.
H — Hear Them Out
The counselor pauses.
Counselor: “Tell me more about what makes it hard to leave.”
Marcus: “If I let go, I don’t know who I am anymore. And I’m not sure people will respect me without it.”
The counselor listens without interrupting. This lets the deeper fear come forward.
I — Introduce Curriculum
Now the counselor introduces the lesson.
Counselor: “What you just said connects directly to a lesson on truth and identity. A gang can give a false identity, but God can give you a new one. That’s why we start with truth.”
The counselor may then connect Marcus to Chapter 2 on truth or Chapter 3 on faith.
N — Navigate to the Big Picture
The counselor helps Marcus think beyond the cell.
Counselor: “If nothing changes, where do you think this path leads?”
Marcus: “Back here. Or worse.”
Counselor: “And if you did change, what could your life look like?”
Marcus: “I’d be there for my kids. I’d stay out. I’d have peace.”
Now Marcus is seeing the future, not just the present.
G — Goal Setting
The counselor helps Marcus make a plan.
Counselor: “Let’s set three goals for this week.”
Goals
Read Proverbs 3:5–6 every morning.
Write down three situations that trigger anger.
Attend one accountability or Bible group session and speak honestly.
The counselor may also ask Marcus to choose one verse to memorize and one person he trusts to support his change.
Practical Group Leader Guide
Before the session
Pray for wisdom and patience.
Review the person’s background if available.
Plan one main lesson, not too many.
Prepare one Scripture and one question for each stage.
During the session
Start with respect, not correction.
Ask open-ended questions.
Listen more than you talk.
Do not rush the person.
Reflect back what you hear.
Match the lesson to the person’s need.
End with one simple goal.
After the session
Review what the person said.
Note safety concerns or major barriers.
Follow up on the goal next session.
Reinforce progress, even if it is small.
Keep the person connected to support.
Scripture References That Fit R.E.A.C.H.I.N.G.
John 4:7–26 — Jesus and the woman at the well
Proverbs 20:5 — A wise person draws out the deep waters
James 1:19 — Be quick to hear, slow to speak
Proverbs 15:1 — A soft answer turns away wrath
Proverbs 11:14 — Safety is found in many counselors
Romans 12:2 — Be transformed by renewing the mind
Philippians 3:13–14 — Press toward the goal
2 Timothy 2:24–25 — The Lord’s servant must be gentle and able to teach
R.E.A.C.H.I.N.G. in Practice: Two Stories
Story 1 — Elijah and Tyrell
Volunteer: Elijah, 23, chaplaincy volunteer | Inmate: Tyrell, 16, juvenile detention, gang-affiliated (assault charge)
[R — Rapport] Elijah: “Yo, they got you watching the game last night?” Tyrell: (shrugs) “Some of it. TV in here cuts out every five minutes.” Elijah: “That’s rough. You a fan of anybody, or you just watch whoever’s on?” Tyrell: “Bulls, since I was a kid. My uncle put me on.” Elijah: “What’d you like about hanging with your uncle back then?” Tyrell: “He didn’t talk to me like I was stupid. Let me just be there.”
[E — Evaluate] (Elijah notes: family figure = uncle, not present now; talent = basketball; possible core belief forming around needing to be “let in” rather than talked down to.)
[A — Ask] Elijah: “Can I ask you something direct? Not trying to accuse you of anything — just curious. What made the set feel like home when your own house maybe didn’t?” Tyrell: (quiet) “They didn’t ask questions. They just said ‘you’re in.’ Nobody else was saying that to me.”
[C — Confirm] Elijah: “So what I’m hearing is — it wasn’t really about the violence or the money at first. It was that they made you feel wanted fast, when nobody else was doing that. Is that right?” Tyrell: “...Yeah. That’s right.”
[H — Hear Them Out] Tyrell: “But it’s not just that. Once you’re in, you can’t really get out clean either. So it’s not just a ‘want,’ it’s a trap too.” Elijah: (nods, doesn’t rush) “Thank you for saying that part too. That matters.”
[I — Introduce Curriculum] Elijah: “There’s a group here Thursdays — guys working through exactly this, the difference between being wanted and being trapped. Would you want to sit in once, no pressure?” Tyrell: “...Maybe. Once.”
[N — Navigate to the Big Picture] Elijah: “Here’s what I keep thinking about you — you said your uncle made you feel like you belonged just by including you, not by needing anything from you. That’s rare. What would it look like if you became that for someone younger than you, someday, without the trap attached?” Tyrell: (long pause) “...I never thought about it like that. Like I could be the uncle.”
[G — Goal Setting] Tyrell: “Maybe when I get out I could actually coach some of the little kids at the rec center. My uncle used to take me there.” Elijah: “That’s a real goal. Let’s write that down and figure out the first step.”
Story 2 — Simone and DeShawn
Volunteer: Simone, 25, chaplaincy volunteer | Inmate: DeShawn, 17, juvenile detention, gang-affiliated (robbery charge)
[R — Rapport] Simone: “I heard you draw. That true?” DeShawn: “Who told you that?” Simone: “One of the officers mentioned it. I’m not here to check up on you, just curious — what do you like drawing?” DeShawn: “Cars mostly. And portraits sometimes.” Simone: “What do you like about school, if anything, before you ended up in here?” DeShawn: “Art class was the only one I showed up for on time.”
[E — Evaluate] (Simone notes: real talent = drawing; school engagement conditional; likely low sense of being “seen” outside of art; possible core belief about only being valued for usefulness.)
[A — Ask] Simone: “Can I ask — the night of the robbery, what was going through your mind right before? Not asking to trap you, just want to understand it.” DeShawn: “Everybody was watching. If I backed out, that was it for me with them.”
[C — Confirm] Simone: “So it sounds like it wasn’t really about wanting what you took — it was more that backing out felt like it would cost you your whole place with the group. Did I get that right?” DeShawn: “Yeah, pretty much. It wasn’t even about the money.”
[H — Hear Them Out] DeShawn: “And honestly — part of me wanted to prove I wasn’t just ‘the art kid.’ Like I needed people to see me as more than that too.” Simone: “That’s important. Thank you for trusting me with that.”
[I — Introduce Curriculum] Simone: “There’s a life-skills track here that includes a portfolio program — guys using art to actually work toward something after release. Want me to bring the info by?” DeShawn: “I mean... yeah, bring it.”
[N — Navigate to the Big Picture] Simone: “You said you needed people to see you as more than ‘the art kid.’ What if the bigger picture isn’t proving toughness to a group — what if it’s proving to yourself that the talent is enough on its own?” DeShawn: “...I never let myself think the art alone was enough.”
[G — Goal Setting] DeShawn: “I want to put together a real portfolio before I go in front of the board. Maybe apply somewhere for art after.” Simone: “Let’s build that plan together, one piece at a time.”
Facilitator Note — Training Volunteers on Story 2
Use this dialogue to train the Ask and Confirm steps specifically, since this is where volunteers risk sounding like an interrogation.
Common mistake: New volunteers ask about the offense too early, before real rapport is built, and phrase it like an accusation (“Why did you rob that store?”). Contrast this with Simone’s phrasing: she asks about the internal experience (“what was going through your mind”), not the act itself. Have trainees practice rewriting three accusatory questions into curiosity-based ones.
Confirm is not just repeating words — it’s naming the underlying motive. Simone doesn’t just repeat “you didn’t want to back out.” She names the deeper driver: status protection, not money. Train volunteers to listen for the why beneath the why. A good coaching exercise: give trainees a raw quote (like DeShawn’s) and have them write two different Confirm statements — one that just parrots the words back, one that reflects the underlying belief. Discuss why the second builds more trust.
Caution on Hear Them Out: This step often produces the most emotionally loaded information (DeShawn’s line about being more than “the art kid”). Train volunteers to resist responding with reassurance or advice in the moment (“You ARE more than that!”). The correct response is simple acknowledgment, saving the reframing for the Navigate step. Practice this restraint with a role-play where the “youth” says something vulnerable and the volunteer must respond in one sentence or less, without advice.
Debrief question for trainees: “At what point did DeShawn’s guard actually come down?” Point to the Ask step’s phrasing, not the Introduce Curriculum step, to show that trust is earned earlier than most volunteers assume.
Short Closing for the Module
R.E.A.C.H.I.N.G. helps a counselor move from connection to clarity to change. It gives structure to the conversation without forcing the person. Used well, it helps gang-involved inmates feel heard, see truth, and begin moving toward faith, surrender, and a practical plan.